Okay, so I know I don’t have a huge blog following and I’m not even sure that more than 5 people ever read my blogs but…. I feel the need to type a lil somethin somethin. I’ve been sitting under some pretty dang amazing preaching this past couple of weeks via LP podcast, PB- whadup!, Zoe LA podcast, Judah Smith’s podcast, Elevation Church, etc etc- that has been preaching straight to my circumstance and heart (HELLO GOD).
To be honest, I have been fiercely seeking out some preaching & teaching because my heart has been going a million different directions due to my recent move and lack of church family & friends. I’ve been in a “20-something year old” rut actually. When I moved to Raleigh, I thought to myself- great, its gonna take me a million years to find friends my age who are christian and are going to build me up rather than lead me astray. “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals” 1 Cor 15:33, right? And dont hear me wrong, I’m not saying I can’t have friends who aren’t Christ followers yet, I’m just saying I’m fairly new to this and I know myself. I need someone to keep me accountable and to keep challenging me to run faster towards Jesus (hey, Bekah Mitchell).
Anyways, lets just say I was feeling pretty down and kind of just being stagnant in my self pity. SO, knowing that GOD is over all and BELIEVING that HE has a PLAN and a PURPOSE for my life (you too!), I decided to seek Him even if I felt like a failure, even if I felt like my struggles were swallowing me up. “I have decided, no turning back”.. not gonna give up now!
First of all, 2 Cor 10:5 “& we take every thought captive and MAKE it obedient to Christ” HELLO, just because you thought it doesn’t mean you have to act on it. And just because you made a mistake and feel like a failure doesn’t mean you have to dwell on it and dwell in it. –JESUS!!! But really, this is where I struggle because I totally get that Jesus died for my sins and He STILL loves me and still wants to use my life to tell His story, but I can’t forgive me. Sometimes I can’t help but be discouraged in myself because “I know better.” P. John Gray said something brilliant today though. Preaching from 2 Sam 16:11-13, he reminded us that David was anointed as king WHILE he still had dirt on him. God doesn’t want us to clean up before He anoints us to do what He has called us to do. #1 because uhhhh, we can’t [do anything without Jesus] and #2 because our “dirt” makes us relatable to others who are or will struggle with these earthly things that temp us. I struggled with believing that I’m just a “20-something” and thinking it’s hard not to do what other “20-somethings” do. But new flashs (to myself), I’m not just a “20-something” I’m a 23 year old daughter of the King of kings who is on a mission to fulfill the will of God and YOU are too!! It may not be a walk in the park, you may have failures and you may make mistakes *everyone does* but the fact is…. If He’s called you to it, He will see you through it.
“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13.
I also think that sometimes we forget that failure may be a part of our story on purpose. For me, I need to be reminded A LOT that I can’t do it without Jesus going before me, behind me, beside me, above me, below me.. Lol. Seriously, I have nothing/ am nothing without His presence. Without Him constantly redeeming me.
So my fellow 20ish year olds, if you’re out there and listening- I’m rooting for you, you can do it. You’re not alone. This is just a season and my advice to you and to myself is, just enjoy it. Even when it’s hard, even on the worst day.. God is still in charge, He’s still sovereign and freaking out over wrong decisions isn’t going to change them or make time move faster. Stay peaceful knowing our heavenly father can redeem your mistakes and can &will use them to make you stronger, more faith filled and closer to His calling for you.
“I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.” Psalm 40:1
He is faithful y’all, He has a plan and nothing & no one can change it or stop it.